When I Knew

I sensed from the beginning what gender our little baby was going to be. 

For some reason it was so overwhelming how convinced I was that I sort of tried to ignore it for a while. 

I mean, let's be honest, we've all got a 50/50 chance of guessing correctly anyway! Anyone else's suspicions, frankly, were as good as my own. There are plenty of future moms who are certain that they are having a boy, and it turns out to be a girl. 

I think I was just trying to make sure I kept an open mind and didn't put myself in a situation of getting attached- but I really knew in my heart that either one would make me happy. People would ask me all the time what I wanted it to be, and I was really happy to find out that I honestly had zero preference. There were plenty of things about both boy and girl that got me excited. I suppose that's not a hard thing to achieve though when it's your first time. 

I like to think that I knew, though. 

Josh's sweet Grandma Barbara bought these after we found out.

We found out that we're having a sweet baby girl.

On April 11, 2014, the morning of Josh and I's graduation from BYU-Idaho, we went to the clinic, and had the UT take pictures and put the result in an envelope for us to open in front of friends and family who had traveled to be with us on our big (bigger than they suspected) day. No one knew that we had even gone that morning until we gathered everyone up in the living room and opened it with them. 

I like to think that our baby girl was just so ready and waiting that I felt it. Either way, I'm just thrilled  for her to come. It's funny to have someone who you've never met cause such strong feelings of love and fear in you. 

I can't wait for her littleness. 

Even though it's still sometimes hard to comprehend that a baby is going to be here, she already feels like a friend to me. It's hard not to feel that way with a 24/7 companion. I often wonder what she's doing in there (mostly because I haven't felt her yet) and whether or not she's comfortable. 

September 28, give or take a few weeks, is going to be one happy happy day. 

Can't wait to meet you baby girl. You are already so fiercely loved by so many.